# 1 Enemy in all the World.....

Hello Dear Friends and Followers,

I had not intended for this message today but it needs to be let known so perhaps you will understand why I have been missing in action on here for so very long....

I wish this were not true but it is and I can feel it in my body .... But I serve a Mighty God who is more powerful than what I am about to share with you all...AMEN!

I would like to ask for prayer today. I just found out accidentally through a snippet of an email of my last Sacroiliac MRI report that was sent to the on call doctor news that I should have received on 1/2014 but did not. I have had one of 2 forms of Cancers since then and only just now found out. Giant Cell Tumor or Chondroblastoma. I am in a lot of pain today. 
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I may also have a Mycobacterium Avium Strain that I got from ingesting water from our water pipes. I had the water tested yesterday by the city water guy but he did not test the biofilm in the pipes like he should have. He said it would take a week to get the results back. But I live in a Rural community so they may not have the ability to do this. So who do I call next? The EPA?
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Plus, My SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is kicking into very high gear today. I have been closed out of my Therapy due to not having been able to attend my sessions since Jan. 2015 due to battling all this plus family issues, too.
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But God is Good all the time!!! But I will admit I am afraid as I sit here and watch all my dreams go down the toilet. Our Vow Renewal I have been working on for the last 4 years, the dream of taking my Crafting Blog to the Professional level, to finally own a home with a lovely cottage style garden and my own Craftroom, being able to go hiking again, the Restoration of my children and the rest of my family to me under Godly circumstances and my deepest desire to have another baby to raise since I was forced to give up my children thanks to my mother. I can almost feel for the person who stated it is all meaningless..... But I know better even if I cannot see it right now. God has a Plan for me, not to harm me but to prosper me... That was the locusts ate He himself will restore after a time....that my suffering is temporal.....
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My husband took off hiking today with the dog leaving me at home alone and he will not be back until after dark.
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So please keep me in your prayers please......Karen

Needing Prayers For Healing....

Hi there Everyone,

 So sorry I have not been online much in the last week or so but I have been REALLY sick with a combination of Virus/Allergies/ and a Severe Sinus Infection for which I still have not been treated for as I am technically in between doctors as the new doctor has not yet received my Medical Records even though I filed the Release over a week ago with my current Temporary Doctor's Office since my Family Doctor has sadly retired.

On top of THAT, I have Tendonitis in my right elbow so bad it was swollen way up! Every time I tried to use my left arm I ended up with Tendonitis in my wrist and hand and it went up my forearm.

ON Top of That, I have just been diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis, which includes Spondylitis (Which essentially means that I have arthritis and inflammation in my spinal bones. ) and Facial or Scalp Psoriasis which at this point it is mild, but the arthritis hurts like I cannot even begin to describe.

If you want to learn more about Psoriasis and Psoriatic Arthritis then check out the  National Psoriasis Foundation Website for lots of helpful information.

At this point, until I can get rid of the infection I cannot have my colonoscopy done which I need badly to determine what I have been so ill with since September 18,2014 and still having issues with. My Rheumatologist is putting me on Methotrexate and Folic Acid, but until I find out if I need antibiotics I cannot take the Methotrexate.

To be honest I am scared as heck to even start the Methotrexate, especially since one of the side effects is possibly losing your hair and I have been growing my hair out long especially for our Vow Renewal that we have been planning and working on for four years now. I know that it is just hair and that my life is more important, it is just that Our Vow Renewal has been so long in the planning  stage and I keep getting sicker and sicker. I am so scared that it will not happen.....

So I am asking for your prayers as I know that Prayer can accomplish great Miracles and I need one now......

New Horizon's Ahead: Learning to Adjust My Sails

Someone Welcome Me back home Please.

 I realize it has been many months since I have been able to post anything, but I do have very legitimate Reasons ( Not Excuses).

I have been struggling with many Extremely painful health conditions all at once ( Still lining up Doctor appointments and Tests) and  withdrawing from my Pain medicine (More on that Later.). Playing in the garden again and making new friends and losing some to cancers of various forms. 

I have just started treatment for my Complex PTSD and Depression. Well, in the planning stages anyway we are just discussing the program right now and my history of various Trauma's I have lived through and have never been treated for before. 

I have finally decided that I really want the things I have always dreamed about that has always stood on the other side of the FEAR I have dealt with since I was only 6 years old. So when you think about it I have wasted 37 years of my life due to my Complex PTSD.

I realize that it may affect me for the rest of my life and my relationships but I am only asking for Love, Compassion and Grace to be me, please, and that I will have to take medicine  for the rest of my life for it as well I am ready. 

This is a battle I have faced in Silence all these years due to the fact that simply I was born into a family that could not be trusted and that abused me in various traumatizing ways.

So you cold say that I am finally learning to "Adjust My Sails". I may not be able to settle the storms by myself but I can definitely go to the ONE who can and that is God. This will be a bumpy ride with my hubby's and His Family learning about my Complex PTSD , I mean actually learning about it and not just glossing over the facts and pretending that I am just Overreacting. They will have to learn a whole NEW way to communicate with me  so please pray that they will extend the Love , Compassion and Grace I am asking for.

Now, onto the More on That Later --Pain Medicine--

I was tripping across Youtube on day after getting off of my Opioid Medicine and found what might just save many lives and reduce alot of suicides in my Humble opinion. It was a seemingly long (hour and half) boring video from Stanford Medical University title "What is Fibromyalgia". It was a public education period in which they were educating Fibromyalgia Patients and Anyone who knew one.

But stay with me here Folks, it is so totally worth watching it until the VERY END Even past the Q&A! This is where you will learn about Low Dose Naltrexone 4.5mg. 

Please watch it and get anyone you can to Donate to this Research Study as they are having trouble obtaining enough funds to do a Large Study (They have already had two very successful Studies. )and it is difficult due to this medicine being an old medicine that has been on the market for awhile and it is very hard to get it produced in the low level that is needed as it is so old that Pharmaceutical Companies are not backing this Research Study. 

So without further ado I present the video:

Stanford Medical University Video "What is Fibromyalgia"?

Now onto Blogging News, I am still planning my New Masquerading Crafter Rebrand Celebration and New Blog. So keep that in Prayer as well, Please. This is a work in progress, but due to my health and pain at the moment it will take maybe a few months to get it started so I ask for Patience and Friendships and Encouragement.

Until Next Time,

Karen 

Living My Dream This Year!!! Question for my Readers.

Hello,  My Friends (waves a Paw)

This is the year I have decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and to run after my Dreams.

This Year : The word for the year is Bloom

I will OVERCOME:         1. Rejection by others in my life. 
                                 I will Focus on the True Friends that I do have and realize that I am already ACCEPTED as a Daughter of the KING!!!! God Loves Me as I am. I want to change because of His awesome Love for me. No other man has ever died for me before. That is true love when you choose to carry someone else's Cross, Burden, Bad Deeds. So ..."Even if my Healing never comes, God You Are Good!!"... My New favorite song by Kutless

                            2. FEAR of Being Abandoned
                             I have started an Art Journal                                                     to Process my Wounds and Scars and my Tears. And will be getting back into Services for myself to control my symptoms.
                           
                            3. FEAR of not being Good Enough
                            I have joined an Online Bible Study Over at                                         http://www.womenlivingwell.org. I am in the Chronic Illness Group. They are looking for some more Group Leaders. So come on over and join us!

4. Throwing in some Weight Loss & Exercises.

                                       I have joined up over at                                                                       http://www.Sparkpeople.com for encouragement in eating healthier and beginning Exercises for the those with Limited Mobility. We can still Exercise ya'll! Plus, cutting down on my pop!

                    5. I am to become more Organized & Productive.
                          I have officially ordered the This is my Life                                      Planners over at http://avirtuouswoman.org/. I LOVE IT!!!

                     6.  I AM Seeing myself as Beautiful inspite of my                                 Pain. I am trading my Ashes for the Beauty of the                             Lord. I am choosing to just ....Bloom without competing with the flower next to me. (This is a partial Quote I found on Pinterest today). I am Accepting Me as I am. I am more than the sum of my broken pieces and I will share my full story on my new About page as I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ and my Life is my Testimony of what God can do if You just let Him work in your life. 

                  7. Starting on Living My Dream of writing a book teaching those who are dealing with Abandonment Issues how to live without Fear of Rejection which is the beginning of Abandonment and how to Live Life with Abandon! I am so pumped about this ya'll. So please keep this in your prayers, please, I want it to become a reality. I will need to raise the money somehow, but I am trusting for God to provide the $2,999 I need to get my book where I want it to be. I took a huge leap of Faith already, I have been in contact with the Publisher I want to use. I will be calling the lady tomorrow. Kind of really nervous so pray that it goes well! {{{hugz}}}}

Ok, Ya'll got a Question for you what do you think of this hairstyle for my Vow Renewal?

This is my Favorite Thing Today!

Our Local FISH Food Bank Needs Your Donations, Please

Someone's Mobile upload of the FISH Food Bank Fire on Facebook

***UPDATE*** They are now using the bus barn behind Mercer Creek Church for now. But in order to get the insurance to cover all the needed fridges and freezers they need a bigger building Donated to them that can be their very own building. Will someone please step up and Donate please? ******1/21/2016

We really need your help. The Food Bank burnt down after Thanksgiving. Are you willing to help: http://t.co/YMpUxUPCmb pic.twitter.com/uRv5G5CA4E
— Karen Roth (@ffpaws) November 30, 2014

Moment of Silence, Please......Ode to Pa Bear

On October 23rd I lost my dear sweet Pa Bear ( a.k.a. Don Roth).

He was the one who walked me down the aisle when I married his youngest son, Ben.

Christmas will never be the same.....

Ode to Pa Bear (Bear-Bear)

He was gentle, loving, and oh so kind,
how we each ache being left behind.
But we strive to imitate your softest answer in love,
as you gently whisper from above.
With the softest of breeze,
My heart frees,
remembering a lesson as sweet as a dove.
How you silently show others your love for them.........
In actions, thoughts and deeds.

Update on Karen....

Hello My Friends,

August 22nd I had a Ischemic Stroke and then again on September 4th I had another one in the MRI machine. They kept me in the hospital for only 2 days then released me.

I saw my regular doctor yesterday and she is not too sure they were strokes but thinks it may have been Migraine related so she gave me a Referral to see a Neurologist. May have been Birth control pill related.

I stayed at home nursing what I 'thought' was a Severe Earache from the 22nd of August until my Cardiologist receptionist made me call 911 on September 3rd. Very foolish move!

So far all my heart tests have been negative except for an Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia and High Blood Pressure.

So please pray that the doctors can figure it all out so we can prevent it in the future.

I am so very weak and extremely fatigued. Been sleeping alot.

That is all I know for now.

 I have an upcoming appointment with my Cardiologist.

They really want me to get back into Counseling again. So I have to make that appointment as well.

So far I have lost half of my smile and I have permanent Left Sided Weakness with my left hand being really fumbly. Lucky for me that I am Right Handed so that means I can still crochet!!!! But I am still alive, Praise God! The Lord is good and loving.

The Lord is guiding me through this dark valley one baby step at a time.

Please Keep Me in Your Prayers and Thoughts.......

Hello Friends,

I have a very good reason for having been only on Pinterest and not blogging every day like I wish I could be doing. Reality has knocked me down and is keeping me down for now.

The 22nd I had my first meeting with my Cardiologist at Virginia Mason Hospital in Seattle. He immediately ordered the Doppler Echocardiogram. This test informed me that 3 of my heart valves are Regurgitating blood, That my Left Atrium is Enlarged. I was also diagnosed with Grade 1 Left Ventricular Diastolic Dysfunction. Which means that I have Congestive Heart Failure (CHF). Just click on the link and it will take you to Mayo Clinic's definition.

 He also wanted me to wear the ZIOxt heart monitor for 14 days, but after four days it was very apparent that my Adhesive Allergy was not going to let me as I broke out with a blistering rash under the monitor and tape. I am on a Steroid cream for it.

I have become a very Depressed woman as I want to do, but I cannot do and I am pelted with my Vow Renewal Dreams. It means so much to me.

So please add me to any Prayer Chains going,

I know that Prayer Changes things and I may need a Miracle sooner than was thought.

Thanks for your Friendship and Love.

Long Time No See And I Can Really Use Your Prayers

Hello Dear Friends,

It has been one heck of a week for me.

First, it started off with me going to visit my Endocrinologist at +Virginia Mason  for my Thyroid, She promptly sent me straight over to ER as my Blood Pressure was 140/99 and my pulse was 129. Even after giving me 2 liters of fluids which normally affects the heart rate, it did nothing to mine and they could not get it to go below 111. So they released me back home to go see my regular doctor which I did the very next day who promptly diagnosed me with Sinus Tachycardia and an Enlarged heart.  It also appears it may all be because my COPD is getting worse.

 I am on doctor's orders to just rest and to avoid any and all kinds of stress at all cost. So I had to tell this to my boss ( the author) so please pray that he is very kind about it and actually lets me rest. It will be hard for him as we are truly down to the very last chapter of his book.

To be honest, I am downright scared of my future even though I know I should not be as a Christian but I am. I finally talked to a Friend from Church last night  about it. I just wish I could talk to my hubby about it but he keeps taking off to go hiking with the dog and leaving me alone for hours. I think and my friend thinks that it is because he cannot handle what is going on with my health and that he might be truly frightened but not knowing what to do about it. That coupled with his having a Mid-life Crises.

That is where it stands for now.

I will post more as I am able to do so.

Until Next Time,

Love,
Karen

A Blanket to Dye for.....My Current Undertaking....

How Do You Do?

This is my latest undertaking :

Torn Fringe Trim 

The Fringe is mostly reusable, Yeah! Free Trim for me!

The Blanket to Dye for....It was given to me by a neighbor for free.
I am in the process of trying to dye it blue. Pray that the Kool-aid works as the Food Coloring did not :o(.

.I 

I just love the Crewel work on this blanket, but I despise it being white in a place that owns a black haired puppy. So I really want it to be blue!

I am going to let it soak tonight since I have added Blue Raspberry Lemonade +Kool-Aid to the water. Please pray it works. It has been soaking for three days in just food coloring but it did not even touch it.

I am also dyeing white rose petals I need for our Vow Renewal. 

My Hubby is sooooo very sweet! He bought me white yarn and an extra packet of +Kool-aid! Guess what I am going to do ? I am going to try dyeing my yarn blue. I am so excited! Got a question though.....Do I let it dry out in the sun? I would have to lay it over our railing...or on my chair :o)  I had to explain to my loving hubby that the excitement was in the actual process of dyeing the Yarn as he asked a very earnest question of, "Why don't you just buy blue yarn?"  His strength is dealing with Computers, Mine is Creativity. 

Until Next Time,

Karen

A Tad Late......My Easter Tablescape

Just Ducky 

Front View

The Quilt-as-you-go Carrot Runner I made :o)

My Favorite drawing of Jesus done by an 8 year old girl who had died and was sent back with the extraordinary gift for drawing and painting. You can see it in the book "Heaven is for Real" 

Front left view

Some Bunny Love ya!

In the last two pictures you can see all the coffee filters I was dyeing at the time for a wreath I still have not yet had the chance to make as I need a wreath form to do it, lol. I got a bit ahead of myself :o)

The white runner is a gift from my mother-in-law.
The bright yellow placemats were a gift from a dear church friend Lucy.

The main part of the centerpiece is a mason jar craft I did ages ago for Easter. I put floral foam in the jar and poked some faux flowers from the +Dollar Tree covered the top with grass and a couple of plastic eggs. At the time I had a tree branch poked into it as well with little cardstock birds I had made hanging from the branches along with a few eggs. Then I tied a silk ribbon around the top of the jar. <---free :o="" p="" tutorial="">
I take Easter very seriously as well as Christmas. Because without the Lord I would not be alive to be typing and blogging. So I am very Thankful to the Lord for the many times He has saved me from certain death.


Until Next Time,
Karen

Quick and Easy Crafts....

Long Time no See, Ya''!

Flower Scarf Hanger- Using Dollar Tree hangers, Shower Rings
Flat back pearls, Household String. 

Flower Shape- with flat back pearls.

My Favorite! Shabby Chic Jars using household string, lace, flat back pearls and Paint.

Lid 1

Lid 2

My personal reminder that Love is the greatest gift you can give to anyone.....
On the other side of this rock I put Please Turn Me Over...I use it to weight my mail to go out down. Once I get my mail out I turn it from Please Turn Me Over to this side :o).

I do hope that you will try your hand at these simple, but very satisfying crafts.

Until Next Time,

Karen

Ruffle Necklace

Howdy Friends,

This was done quite some time ago and I never got around to sharing it so here it is without further ado.....

Ruffle Necklace

What I did was crochet three different layers and then sewed them together at different depths.

It worked up really quickly and was fun to make.

I have another necklace in the works that is my own design. As soon as I can write it out I will post it here. May take a while though.


May you have a wonderful................. and God Bless you richly! <---fill :o="" are="" blank="" in="" p="" the="" wherever="" world="" you="">
Until Next Time,

Karen

Live,Laugh,Love...Believe...

Welcome, My Friends!

I am sorry that I have been offline for so long, but the net connection we are currently using is up ...then it's down...then it's up ....then it's down. Which I mean it is down more than it is up :o(.

I so want a dedicated line, but we still owe $129 and some change on our old bill that my hubby refuses to pay. It would be so lovely if I could open our mailbox one of these days and have a gifted check to pay for our bill so we could get hooked back up again. But as of now, it is just wishful dreaming and right at the time I so want to get professional with my blog and non-profit. Just another mountain standing in my way.

 Lord, help me overcome this obstacle in my way, please. You are my provider Jehovah Jireh. Thank you for meeting this huge need of ours. I Thank you and praise your Holy Name and i ask this in Jesus Precious, Precious Name, Amen. Now who will stand in agreement with me? 

I have been using my down time to work on WIP's and I actually finished two of them last night!

Live...Laugh...Love

Glittered hearts

Paint Chip Hearts

Believe...

Chronic Illness Butterfly -
I chose Blue to represent +Chronic Illness
 as I suffer with several Chronic Illnesses.

Courage, Inspiration, Love -
I chose Red to help me gain Courage,
To give me Inspiration while Crafting,
And to remind me that the greatest of all is Love.

All Things are Possible....

The beginning of Faith is just to simply Believe

Live, Laugh, Love finished

Believe Finished

The paper flower was made by me out of a coffee filter that I had dyed.

The streaks you see on Believe is just where I took my ink pad and ran it around the outside edges of the canvas then I just held it even with the canvas and rubbed it up and down the canvas.

FYI: The three colors you see on my canvasses are the colors I am going to use on my Major project.....A Free standing Bathroom Cabinet. I am so excited to do it but I resent the work it takes to just be able to paint it...ughhhh! But it will totally be worth it when I am finished I do believe :o)

Until Next Time,

Karen

Very Painful Vacation & A New Diagnosis

I know I was gone for a long time....Want to guess where I have been?

I was admitted to the local hospital after an Emergency Trip to the ER.

I spent three long days and 2 even longer nights in the hospital.

Short story is that I ended up having a really nasty infection, tons of longstanding inflammation throughout my entire body and a unsuspected abscess growing in my colon. I honestly did not even know I had anything until the Colonoscopy procedure on the very painful last turn  but I went on home and scrubbed my toilet and at 6:30 a.m. the very next morning I had a Temperature of 100.7. I was able to get it back down until after my nurse called me back and said straight to ER with you do not pass Go. Then once I had been in ER for a few hours it spiked again to 100.3.

It seems the Colon Scope had struck my Abscess on the last turn back out and that is what triggered everything into motion..

My new very much unwanted Diagnosis is Ulcerative Colitis.  Here is a good site to learn more about this little nasty disease http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/colitis/

I am still very weak so I am off for now but wanted to keep you all updated.

Until Next Time,

Karen

The "Real" Me Getting Very Real with My Followers.....

The Real Me Karen M. Roth at Christmas 2013

I have included this picture of myself as I am finding out because I am a bit too informational and detailed about my life people do not take me for Real. It is because of such an attitude from my online followers, friends {and otherwise} and the people in my RL being too Busy and too stressed to have time for me and because of the lack of affection and love from my own husband  that on April 4, 2014 I almost was no more.

 I felt so rejected, unloved, and unwanted {not including the fact I wanted to see my father before he dies and to see my brother who I am have not seen since 2007} that I tried to kill myself.

All because no one truly is interested in my Life's journey, the pain, suffering, the major losses in my life....My Story,  yet I listen to other peoples stories completely before I form an opinion of them.

I am only telling you now just so you will know what has happened to me all this time.

I do have happier Craft related posts to make, but right now my health has taken a serious toll on me and I am so weakened that I can barely make it from my bedroom to my desk. Plus, prepping for my Colonoscopy. Which is the 30th.

The Special Adrenal Gland Scan just revealed a Benign Fatty Tumor on my left Adrenal Gland which still is not telling them what is truly wrong with me. Other than a possibility of it being Cushing's Syndrome or Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) but the Gyn is not convinced that PCOS is the problem. I am scheduled for removal of the Mirena to see if that will fix my problems.

I just know that I am feeling weaker by the day and I have the most awful feeling in my lower legs and feet that never stops. My vision has been adversely affected. I am now also using Fentanyl patches and my pain is still above that.

Well, that is it for now

Until Next Time,
Karen

P.S. Does anyone even care about me at all?

Missing in Action, Update and Special Request......

So Sorry I have not posted anything in so long but I ended up in the Emergency Room the last week.

May be TMI,  but you need to know it all  to semi understand the level of pain I have been dealing with for the past two weeks. The first four days I did not use my Prednisone thinking that resting and icing would get it back under control,  Major Ouch,  bad move do not copy me please!

But anyway here we go,

The ER visit revealed that I had Internal Hemorrhoids. Ouch # 1. In this case they are genetic not from straining.

My Two part Pelvic ultrasound found "Small Follicles" on both ovaries and during the past two weeks they have been taking turns 'popping'. Any Lady who has had this will understand this pain. Ouch #2.

Then I ended up with a severe AS (Ankylosing Spondylitis) flareup in my lower spine. Ouch #3. I am currently on Prednisone for it which has been helping which is why I am able to post today :o)

Then to top it all off,  I just found out I also have Sensorineural Hearing Loss. 74% loss  in my Left ear and 65% loss  in my right ear.  They want me to get a pair of Hearing Aids valued at $1900.00. There is no way I can do this and I have asked family for the help,  but have not heard back so if anyone has received them through the Medicaid Program please chat at me please!  All the hearing loss due to a stupid neighbor girl who lit a Ladyfinger Firecracker and stupidly kept holding it in her fingers even though I kept telling her to throw it down . However, She did suffer a consequence, lost part of her thumb. I am a bit angry about it, but I am choosing to forgive her.

I saw my doctor today and I am asking for the same doctor that put my IUD in as I do believe that I have had PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) all this time and the Mirena IUD has made it worse. Ouch #4. If any other lady has this, please, chat at me. I am curious to understand the PCOS Diet and which medication is the best one. On this note, I am scheduled for a Contrast CAT Scan to make sure there are no masses that Dr. Longo needs to know about.

My Pulse rate today was 100. my blood pressure was 104/72 and I have lost from 155 down to 147 without trying to lose weight. I am starting to get a bit worried here as my heartbeat has slowed down.

I am also trying to get the money for a plane ticket back home. I ended up being scammed By EZ Cash Advance and had to close my account and open a new one.  I will try to get my link for Donations fixed later this evening if not , then it will be tomorrow morning. I am so sorry about the mess right now.

So please pray for me.

Until Next Time,
Karen

Trying to Drown My Sorrow With Crafts

It has been very hard for me to be stuck in the western part of the United States while my family is in the Midwest. Especially knowing that my family truly needs me and not having the money to get a plane ticket to fly back home to help out.

So I have been drowning my sorrow in a few crafts.

I made this out of 11"x 17" paper (Legal). I folded it in half then I used needle and thread to bind it. I found a pretty piece of scrapbooking papers that I had gotten at Target and pieced the pieces together. Then used fancy scissors to detail it for the tags I used my new Fiskars Lace 3 way punch ( I love it!! ). Then I put some good old Elmers on the spine and wrapped the paper I  had pieced together around the legal paper and clamped it down with 6 mini binder clips.

Just a different perspective of the notebook I made.

Me and My Ideas :o)

The Butterfly and pearl wreath I had previously posted before I had finished it. It is now welcoming Spring and it will be used again for our Vow Renewal. 

This is the back of my Encouragement File I put together after reading +Joel Osteen's "Every Day a Friday" It is an awesome book and I highly recommend it !

This is the bottom part of the front. 

Aren't the Birdy and the butterfly just so sweet?

I forgot to use the Macro button when I took this but it shows the two Martha Stewart Heart punches I had previously won on EBAY. I LOVE EBAY so much that it is the way I have been gathering up everything for our Vow Renewal. 

This is the front part of the lid to my case. I tried to capture the two clear beads I used on the elastic you wrap around the envelope.

I tried to get the birdy up close so you can make out what the stamp says inside the birdy itself.

I am going to finish my sweater necklace I am making. I am so excited about it as it is my own design,  a OOAK....(One of a Kind).

I have also made an Exercise Binder to help keep me motivated to not only exercise, but to eat healthier, to help me understand my illnesses better and how I can manage some of the symptoms. I still need to set up the time I want to do my exercises every day and I am going to change the exercises up so that I am not doing the same things day after day except for the stretching. Not sure when I will start, but I will let ya'll know when I do. My goal is to be able to walk down to the end of our field approximately a 1/4 mile without having to stop and rest every few steps for 20 minutes. I really want to walk down the aisle on my own two feet , arm and arm with my dear sweet husband Ben. It is going to take a bit as currently I am on a walker and a cane. Barely able to walk to the mailbox and to the front office at the clubhouse. :o( So please pray for me and wish me well in my adventure to learn to walk unaided again. My most important dream it is be able to dance with my husband on the eve of our Vow Renewal. I want to waltz  to Beethoven and Bach. A true Victorian Romance *Swoons*

   Woo me , My Darlin'. You have all of me, heart, body, mind and soul. I have eyes only for you. None other will do, only you for me, My One True Love. Heart and Soul you are the piece that makes me whole.
Until in Heaven we should meet, Only you make my heart beat. I shall profess my love for thee both near and far. {©2014 Karen M. Roth "Profession of Love"}

"Oh, How I love thee, Let me count the ways...." { Elizabeth Barrett Browning‎} 

Until Next Time,

Karen  

Less is More... More of Less of Me.

Getting Real:

They are doing an ultrasound on my Gall bladder as it is failing. Checking my heart as it has slowed too much. They still have not figured out the reason for my dizziness that is so severe that I am not even able to walk..  My Potassium level is too low 2.5 and the doctor cannot figure out why it keeps dropping so low or what is even causing it.

My Doctor told me and my husband that I will never ever be able to work again period. But yet I am still trying to do what I am able to do to help myself out.

Positivity is getting me or you nowhere. I am dying,  there is no light way to put it. My father is dying and my mother is in very ill health herself and unable to care for my father. I just wanted to spend some time with my family before I do die.

I tried being open and honest about my dire situation, but it seems to have backfired on me instead and now I am being looked upon as a fake and a scam artist. Which could not be farther from the truth.

I am about to the point of just giving up on living,  period,  just because the people around me and in my life are so shortsighted that they cannot see past their own noses to see another's suffering and pain,  and to be a stepping block instead of a stumbling block. I have been hindered enough. I just need help.

When did the world grow so selfish and uncaring about their neighbors?  Their  friends, their loved ones?

What happened to "Love your neighbor as yourself." Is that not the only command that Jesus Christ himself gave to us?  Why is it so hard for people to just love on people? Folks,  keep your eyes on Jesus as Jesus is the true form of what Love truly is. Often times it just boils down to a choice, your choice.

 So who are you going to let win in this battle of mine, Satan or God?  Do you not want to be known as the warrior who helped me out when I was completely down on my luck and getting sand kicked in my eyes?

 I know the answer and it is because hurting people hurt others.  I am just tired of being hurt because people are too afraid to trust. When you are too afraid to trust it is because you do not realize just how awesome your God is.

 I know that God will get me there regardless of how He does it. It is just that I thought that maybe my family and friends loved me enough to want to be part of the God-sized plan to get me back home.

Please Help Me Out.....Help me get back home

Please will you please donate to my plane ticket fund to help me get back to my parents?

I have not seen my parents, nor have I spoken to them in 10 long years due to my mother's stubborn pride and unwillingness to forgive me. It was they who disowned me,  not the other way around,  Now when they need me the most I want to be there for them but I cannot be due to my Ankylosing Spondylitis and possible Cancer zapping us of all needed funds. My hubby and I only live on my hubby's SSI Benefits each month.

Please help me, please. I am not some spammer who wants to scam you all. I am a desperate wife and daughter who truly wants to help her parents in the short time she has left. In fact, just this morning I spoke with the lady from the Assisted Living place that has Memory Care because I want to try and keep my parents together. I also asked her to visit my folks to let them know that I am only trying to help from a very long distance away.....I live in Washington and my parents live in Kansas. This is utter torture for me! I want to be there for them and to show them that I do love them and always have. I also want to be able to visit my only brother who happens to be in prison.

 Please help me however you are able to whether it is with a donation of $ 1.00 or a $100.00.


***UPDATE***

I now have $250.00  in my plane ticket fund thanks to my brother, which was not easy for him to send as he is in prison and gets paid so little on his job. So Bro, here's a shout out to you I love you and Miss you bunches and I really hope to see you soon {{{hugz}}}!


I would have had a loan of $5000,  but it turned out to be a scam. Boy, do I ever feel the fool.

I just really want to get back home,  please,  won't you consider even a $5.00 donation?

 For $5.00 I will make and print out some pretty Stationery and my Daily Schedule.

 For $10.00,  a lacy bookmark. You choose the color,  I choose the style :o)

 For $25.00. I will throw in a hand crocheted Cross with a brightly painted wooden frame

 For $35.00 I will make a scarf of your choosing. I will show the patterns to choose from in a blog post. 

 For $50.00 I will make an heirloom Beaded Christmas Ornament.  

 For $100.00 I will make an Heirloom Bedspread. 

*****Update*****