On to Happy Thoughts....

Hello Friends,

I am trying to help myself think more positive, but for me it is so hard to do on my own so I have joined Happify. Will ya'll join me over there and become my real time friends? I could really use it now. I could really use encouragement. Maybe some happy colored notebooks or altered journals with a written notes by you  in them on the first page?

If you want to participate in my Happifying journey and giving me some real time encouragement just email me at Karen Roth Contact me, please and I will email you my address so ya'll can write me. I understand that many of ya'll live very busy lives, but can you please spare one moment to write to me?

Now on to something that makes my happiness factor go way up, I just wish I could have these things in real life,lol

Shabby Chicness

Roses and Teacups
There is nothing sweeter than a bunch of adorable teddies. 

Just a shout out to +roses-and-teacups you do amazing work :o) Love everything!

Speaking of which, rush your little selves over to my Blenpal, Angie Tower who is the most awesome gourd artist! I so want here Windsor blue purse, just my color and design, I have a crush + on it.

Regional Renown Gourd Artist, Angie Tower

Until Next Time,
Karen

What a couple of weeks....

Well, I am so sorry I have not been posting lately but I have had doctor appointment after appointment  and that is not even mentioning just how ill I have been as of late.

*Good News for now*

I went to see Dr. MacDonald on the 20th and he told me that my Enchondroma is Benign for now but he wants to keep an eye on it for the next 6 months to make sure there is no growth. So I go back in 6 months to get two more MRI's to see.

Meanwhile, I am having a Mammogram and an ultrasound due to a lump and a swelling I have on the right side just below my breast. It hurts like a dickens and I am having trouble getting comfy in bed now because of it. It seems to be right on the bottom rib. I have been so drained of energy, stamina, and pain has zapped all my physical strength. 

So ya'll, can I ask for ya'll to pray for me. We can really use it since I have run out of my Vitamin D3 and we cannot afford to get it being without it has left me with blind spots in my left eye and a horrid buzzing that started in my right foot and is slowly creeping up my legs each time I have to go without my D3 and I am out of my eye drops as well. Being without the D3 has left me terribly grumpy and I have been fighting with my husband but I think a big portion of my anger is stemming from my uncontrolled ADD.

 I broke down and wept today missing my family terribly  since they rejected me and took my daughter and son away from me when I was only trying to do the right thing. I wept for my children who I love so dearly even though they chose to listen to the lies my mother had told them.. I wept for missing my parents even though they have disowned me, because no matter how much they neglected my needs they are still my parents and I do love them dearly, it is just that they have taken their eyes off of Jesus and that they have never dealt with their own issues before having children. In fact, the day I was born my father was busy getting drunk at the GI Club on the base where I was born. My mother went through it all alone, yet she stayed with him for reasons I cannot assume. When he was home he was a workaholic. He was a prison guard. As you may assume at this moment I did not have a very happy childhood. It was mostly full of fear when I was going to get picked up and thrown on the bed next and I dare not repeat what he had done to me but even to this day I am scared of my mother and father. It finally quit when I was 12 years of age when I finally got brave enough to pull my father's bluff down while I was in class one day. I will forever be grateful for my Friend Christina who went home and told her mother what I had said standing in the Recess Line. Thank you immensely, Christina F. You will forever be my heroine, Thank You {{{hugz}}}.

 I wept for my brother , my only brother who is going to be in prison for the next 20 years. I love him dearly but I also suffered tragic losses and I weep for them every single day. I miss my niece and two nephews dearly. Especially my brother's son. His half-aunt who adopted him has refused for him to have anything to do with me just because I am my brother's sister. I did not commit the crime  and believe me, I grieve every day. I miss not only them but I miss my brother, he will never be the same again. I can only pray that he will continue on the positive path he has started on but I do pray that he will at least write me back. I love him and I miss him dearly. But he is living proof of what trying to Self-Medicate yourself  instead of reaching our to the help you can get can do. So I pray for all the family members of people like my brother. 

So if you are reading this and you just happen to live in Hutchinson, Kansas and so happen to know my parents H.E. Jones III and J. A. B. Jones please tell them I love them dearly and I want us to come full circle with "a circle that is unbroken". Tell them I said to drop their pride and to give me a call (509) 306*9696 please? That I have only love and forgiveness for both of them. As well as open arms. I understand that both of them are just hurting people and that they need help beyond themselves. The same goes for my Children A.B. Jones and C.A. Berg.

 Oh, how I long to just hold them in my arms again before I die. To be honest, I don't think I have much time left because of my health being in such poor shape, but I am trying to hold on as long as I can and I know that I will not die before God says it's time, but man is my body in a very bad way.

Please also pray that Child Support does not take our only vehicle since they now have got a lien against it. I truly need a lawyer but we cannot afford one and we need a new van so desperately as this one is on it's last wheel.

Well, I gotta run and try to get things cleaned up before the maintenance man comes to change out our shower head.


Until Next Time,
A desperate woman hanging on to her last fraying  thread and losing her hope, Karen

Christmas 2013

Merry Christmas To you and Yours from the Roths 

Moi in the Flesh

The wonderful blessing God blessed me with. My wonderful husband Ben. My Valiant Knight in Shining Armor. 

May you enjoy the Lord's Blessings this coming Year.

May your house be full and merry and may your laughter be your love's delight!

The Lord was very good to us this Christmas as He has chosen to work through my husband's family and our Church to buy us new beds...... So Praise the Lord! No more sleeping on the floor with 1 of the world's Top 10 most painful diseases....Ankylosing Spondylitis (and a Bone Tumor in my Left Femur head). God is so Good!

At the first of the year I will also have Health Insurance so guess what?! I'm getting new glasses! (This pair I am wearing are 20 years old frames with 4 year old lenses :o()

I scored a whole slew of new clothes and jackets, all so beautiful! 

I have made some crafts that I will show later on when I am feeling better. I ended up with a Intestinal Virus for Christmas....Yeah me....Bah Humbug.... and out of Pain meds to boot....

To my own family the Joneses, I wish you all well and I hope you had a Merry Christmas and I pray that next year with be a new beginning for all of us and Hopefully one that will come Full Circle .....Mom, Pops, Bro, Son and Daughter... I truly Love each of you with an unconditional Love and I pray that you all forgive me for taking off the way I had but I only was leaving to get the help I needed, not because I hated you all.

Merry Christmas to all and to All a Good Night,

Karen

Computer Died.......Trying Earnestly to bounce back

Well, this was an unexpected problem.... Both my power supply and hard drive bit the computer dust and both have gone to computer heaven..... I do believe though that my dear sweet hubby Ben has ordered the parts I need as surprise early Christmas gifts. Bless his dear little heart! Oy Vay! Well I just wanted to quickly let everyone know this and the fact that I have finally received my diagnosis. I have a disease that most people cannot even pronounce "Ankylosing Spondylitis" and more people than not do not even know what it even is. So let me give you the quick version:

About Ankylosing Spondylitis

If you love me as you say you do, then please use this link to look up all the information and even read the patient stories as that is the real truth about this disease. Unfortunately, I do not have the money for the membership fee. Joining this Association would be a tremendous benefit to me as I do care for a developmentally disabled husband.

I have also learned that I have a bone tumor (Enchondroma) in my left hip. They think I have had it since I was a child but I am not thinking so because this is a very new pain that started shortly after my Thyroid problems started. They have said that if it is found in an adult that it can grow to become Bone Cancer. We are praying desperately that it does not become cancer.  So to be honest I am really frightened.

 I am going to get a too real for a moment: We are so poverty stricken that I am sleeping on a couple of worn out foam pads on the floor and my hubby is on an air mattress on top of our broken bed. This is so troubling to my dear hubby because he knows enough to know it is his job to provide for us and he cannot due to his disabilities.My body is in severe pain but that pain does not compare to the pain in my heart and my soul when considering my poor hubby's dilemma.

 While I am pleased that people do have warm comfortable furniture during this Christmas Season and warm, safe houses, I would like to encourage those who do have more than enough to please help those who are less fortunate than you. Because, Folks, Loving your neighbor as yourself really needs improving upon in our society today. We have folks right here in (Anytown, USA) that are doing without every day basic necessities because like myself they are too ill to work and the state will not help out enough. As I am saying this I am going without most of my medications as we just do not have the money to buy them and most of them are not available through Patient Assistance Programs.

Dear sweet Ruthi, We so love you so much because even though you have the least money in the family you have helped us the most. The others in our large family could learn a most needed lesson from you and we pray that they do. Thank you for showing us both that you truly do treasure our lives enough to be what we need you to be when we need you to be it.You have shown to us that life is more precious than things and vacations.That the human life is a very precious gift and should not be wasted. That it should be spent showing God's love to those who are with, for us, and around us. You have given out of your need and not out of your excess and God will truly bless you for it all. Thank You Dear Sis {{{hugz}}}

All this to say this, Family should be willing to aid the members of their families who are not doing well no matter how much it costs because that is what being a family means. You all stick together through the thick and thin of life.The Good, Bad and the Ugly. That is what being a family means. You love, treasure, support, comfort, and aid those you say you love. Because Folks that is what God's True Love is all about. If you are not doing this then God's Love does not reside within your heart. Because if you can help complete strangers but not your own flesh and blood (this includes through marriage), then God's Word states that all your giving amounts to nothing in His eyes. Because  true Charity begins at home in the family unit.

Today has been really hard

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Hello, My Friends *waves*

Well, so far every door I have tried to open to get me my proper treatment for my medical condition has been slammed shut so please pray for Jehovah Nisi to show up on the scene. I truly need a Miracle and breakthrough.

This is a reminder to myself so pardon me for a moment.....

"I have a dream and I will push through the darkest of nights to embrace the beautiful rays of the coming dawn." ~by Karen M. Roth 

My deepest desire is to just be an inspiration to some one else that reflects a 360 degree turn in their life and thought processes, but at the moment I am having to encourage myself.

It is truly hard to not feel sorry for myself when everything has trumped itself against me. But I know that Whatever weapon has set itself up against me shall not stand. That whatever has been meant for my harm God means for my good.

BUT:
 I know that it is when it is darkest that your miracle is right at hand . So I must keep pressing forward for my true  God-given Destiny is at hand. This is just the Test.

I am not what I have become and my circumstances do not make me who I am.

I am beautiful, smart,loving,compassionate, and creative......

I am just having a bad day, but I know this bad day will not last forever. I will have my victory.

I know that God has not brought me to this without the tools and skills I need to overcome this ....I am just facing my test....How well will I do ? I am forcing myself to look past my condition to see my future and the Blessings God has in store for me.

One Lesson to be learned in this and it is this.....Now I know exactly what people with Traumatic illnesses have to deal with so in the running of my non profit "Gentle Whispers of Love" I will know just how to tailor my reach and outreach.

Thank you, Lord for this Lesson and I pray that you will help me keep focused on the fun things and not on my excruciating physical pain which has debilitated me so much so that I am barely able to walk. Lord I am crawling to the beautiful feet of Jesus please water my desert. Let the springs pour forth and renew me with the Strength and grace of the Eagle I am flying in the shadow of your wings. Raise me to such heights that I can never reach on my own. In Jesus' Name, Amen

Wonderful Fabric Contest to Enter + Update on ME

Hi there Everyone,

    Sorry to have been MIA for so long but I have been very ill and in a lot of pain. My dear 85 yr. old father-in-law Pa Bear was in the hospital as he had to have a foot of his intestine removed. He has been in there for the last week and they are hoping to release him early this week.
    I lost a really good crafting friend this past week as well, her name was Lynn Brookside (May She R.I.P.). Her loss was an unexpected one although I believe she knew her time was coming to an end as her last post to all of us was that she wanted us to know that she really loved us. It has been a week, but it is still hard to function at times for missing her. I think,  for me, the hardest part was knowing that she had died alone except for her poor kitty Bonnie Blue who is now missing and that she had been dead for 2-3 days before her friend came to check on her and found her. That is so hard to take in. I just pray that when it is my time to go that I have family surrounding me with love. They think that Bonnie Blue might have escaped while the ambulance was there to remove Lynn. I do pray they find her and that someone loving will take her in. I still need to make a card for Lynn's estranged daughter Angela. I just pray she will accept the card in love which is my intention. I would have done it sooner but I have been hurting too bad physically to do so.

    Onto, the happy news, I received the most wonderful present from my brother (who is in prison for the next 24 yrs.) So it is really special to me. It is a single pearlescent rosy pink rose that sits in a varnished sandstone base. It looks to be hand made. It is so very precious to me as he is.  Today is his birthday so I want to shout out to my brother HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  Stephen I love you and Miss you!!

   The last three days or so I have been keeping busy crocheting little bowls out of yarn. I plan to give a nested set of them to my dear sister-in-law who gave me the yarn to play with :O) I really hope she will make use of them! But I am not telling you who until after she gets them :o)

  Now who wants to win a lot of fabric besides me?
  Well here's your chance!!!

  Win a lifetime of fabric

  Just click on the link and it will take you directly to the form to fill out :O)
  Betcha thought I would keep this little linky all to myself didn't ya?
  As tempted as I was my good side won out so here ya go :o) Aren't I just so very nice?;o)
 
  Anyway, I've got to get back to making more yarn bowls  for my desk and crafting table and fancying up my binder clips. I also have my tote bag to finish. I am gonna try to do a tutorial on the tote bag. Hehe, I guess that is why it is taking me so long to do it as I am a bit nervous. It has been three weeks in the making so far as I can only handle sitting upright for a small amount of time before my back starts screaming at me to lay it down with the ice pack.

  Have a very creative week and hope to see you soon ya'll! *waves a paw*

Color Challenge- Silver, White,Blue = Family

Hey there Everyone *waves a paw*

This weeks Color Challenge at Outlawz was so fun to do as it featured one of my favorite colors - BLUE!

Here are this weeks colors: The twist was to add a charm.

Colors to use

Here is my entry:

My entry

I stamped the sentiment on Georgia-Pacific 110lb. weight card stock I got on sale at Bi-mart and because they forgot to remove the old sales sticker I got it for $2.00 cheaper. Their mistake but I profited from it at their insistence :o)

The stamped sentiment and the foliage are two Stampin' Up stamps that a church friend loaned me her entire Stampin' Up stamp sets they are the original ones one dates back as far as 1998.  So, Jean, I thank you dearly from the bottom of my heart! 

I chose to add the the sentiment Family as that is what makes Christmas so very special to me underneath the fact that it is Jesus's birthday and such a wonderful gift that God has given us. I appreciate it in so many ways that words can never accurately describe. As we humans do not speak God's language of Love, as His is completely and totally selfless, whole, pure, forgiving, uplifting, and completely unconditional. 

The paper is from my new Coral Couture Stack by DCWV. 

The snowflakes were given to me as a gift. I chose to glitter the one on the right with silver glitter to get my silver in ;o)

Unfortunately, I did not have the exact blue in paper so I chose to hit my bead stash and found one that was close and that is the big bead on my silver and white Christmas bow with the two self made "hat pins" that I made out of headpins for making earrings with.

Last, but not least, I have my little pewter reindeer charm hanging on the bottom left of my card off the silver and white Christmas bow. He is kind of in the shadows so you cannot get a good look at him other than to tell he is a charm.  He was previously a necklace pendant from a broken necklace which was given to me with a bunch of other jewelry and art prints by a previous neighbor when she was moving out of good old Briarwood. So I thank you, Hazel! I sure do miss seeing your sunny face riding your bike and running Layla along side you!

Well, y'all, I sure do appreciate the visits and the comments on my projects and I pray that you will have a most blessed week ahead of you!

Thank you so much for your prayers and support this week. They are greatly appreciated. However, my battles are not over yet. I just got one more thrown into the mix this past week.  I was also finally able to get ahold of my Disability Attorney today...so YAY on that part. But you know what it's all good as for what Satan means for evil, God means for good! and I CAN do all things through  Christ who strengthens me!!!

Paper a la Mode Challenge- Nature

Hello everyone,

How are we all doing? Me, well, I just finished another challenge over at Outlawz called the Paper a la Mode. This week is was based on a Nature only theme. So I thought I would get a bit creative and create myself a Nature themed notebook with notecards. Took me all week due to having a Fibromyalgia flareup due to the thunderstorms. For some reason by bulging disc does not like clouds either so it also decided to flareup severely. But it did not stop me from going out with my sweet sister0in-laws Ruthi and Maureen. We had a blast! Well, I sure know I did as this times was a belated birthday gift shopping trip. I made out like a bandit because the places we went had really good sales. Thank you Joann Fabrics and Goodwill Industries! They also took me out to lunch at this cute quaint little cafe that is also a bed and breakfast. I even ate semi-healthy! I had a Chicken Caesar Salad with Strawberry Italian Soda plus water :o) Thank you so much, Ruthi and Maureen, I love ya'!

Now onto my nature themed project :  *NOTE- Enlarged pictures may look blurry as I just could not get a clear photo of them, I think my hubby may have changed the usual settings and I cannot figure out how to choose the right settings for up close photos..Flippin' Fuji!  Oh, and in the background of the first photo you will see the main centerpiece, card basket and my bouquet for Our Vow Renewal. I still need to hot glue them. But I still have plenty of time as it won't be until June 28,2014 :o) I will also be making a Victorian Ballgown to wear. As well as a quilted wall hanging to hang up behind us while we are saying our vows :o) So some time I need to get started on those.

Nature themed notebook and card

Inside of Nature themed notebook with notecards

One of sixteen notecards for the nature themed notebook.

Sentiment on front of nature theme notecards.

I hope everyone has a very blessed week ahead of them and may you remember to find joys in the little things :o)

Much Love,

Karen

 {{{hugz}}} to ALL!

Teaching Myself To Embroider

I am determined to teach myself how to do Elegant Embroidery. I want to incorporate some of it in our Vow Renewal Ceremony.

I am thinking of embroidering with matching beads on my ballerina slippers and I am also wanting to make a embroidered heart shaped ring pillow for Pepper (Our dog) to wear on her fancied up harness as she will be our Ring Girl ^.^.

I have a beautiful design all picked out and ready to transfer to the light oatmeal colored cotton fabric I found that I think could be a linen.

The design will be a oval with ribbon flowers at the top and the bottom of the oval with embroidered stems and leaves and little French Knots hanging from some stems. There will be our Monograms at the bottom just above the flowers then just above the monograms I think I will add two ribbon roses with several light colored 1/8" satin ribbons to tie the rings on with. I think I will do it in the colors of the fabric I am using for the skirt part of my dress.

The fun part will be convincing Pepper not to try to scratch it off. O.0 LOL

This is the day I became her official owner Oh Happy Day!

Head Pain Finally Figured Out!

Hey there Everyone,

I finally figured out my head pain on my own on Mother's Day when it finally came to a massively severe pain-wracking full blown Migraine. Now it is just down to a Allergy Headache. SO No Tumor as originally thought!!!

My sweet hubby surprised me with a Orchid corsage and a dozen Carnation Pink Carnations for Mother's Day! I love them Darlin'! Thank you so much and I love you dearly!

I am working on a French Provincial Afghan pattern I found in an 1986 Afghan book I bought at the Goodwill here. I have changed the color scheme a bit to adjust to my tastes. I will try to do a tutorial on it as I go. It may be after I finish it completely that I post it though. As it takes quite some time and money to make at least 55 squares, then to single crochet two different colors to each square, make 55 flowers, attach the flowers then to join all the squares and to finish it with a Picot edging. But then I am taking a Lap Robe project and turning it into a full blown afghan for a queen sized bed :O).

I have been getting quite the crafting bug here lately but my poor thumb is so sore I cannot do much other than to crochet. I may have to talk to my doctor again about it as it has been really sore at rest and I have not sprained it. I think it is an inflammation in my ligaments. Very painful. Nonetheless, I have been perusing other crafting blogs for inspiration and to see creativity at its finest as a Do-it-yourself kind of person.
I just may show you my ugly dining room slipcovers and afghan if I can ever feel well enough to finish them...actually they are not that bad.

I am sitting here wishing I had a craft room all my own...but I am crammed into the bedroom with a meeting table with a table skirt I made. I just wished I could afford the right kind of chair to use for my sewing and quilting, Right now I am using a dining room chair which causes my lower back to really hurt after an hour of sitting at the machine.

Ah well, tis the life story of one who is extremely poor and disabled and cannot work.

Anyhoo, back to designing more crafts to do when I am able to do so!

Happy Creativity and Crafting Y'all!

Good News and Even Better News

Hello Everyone,

Today is a grand day for me......

I found out that my MRI of my head came back normal which means there is no tumor like originally thought. Still does not explain my symptoms though. Maybe it is just a new form of headache that I have never had in the past. I am going to see if I can see a headache specialist as this was just too painful to ignor especially when my vision was so affected.

The greatest news of all I won my auction and am now the proud owner of a dainty Victorian matching necklace and earring set. 

Victorian Earrings

Victorian necklace

I have also purchased a lovely pair of hand beaded appliqués. I am thinking I may use them on my veil on the main layer which reaches down to my ankles or thereabouts. Thinking I will finish it with some lace trim and possibly with other smaller appliqués and extra pearls and crystal type beads.

Hand beaded Appliqués
Happy Weddings and crafting!