Betcha Cannot Guess.....

Betcha Cannot guess what I am in the process of doing?

Are ya guessing yet :o)

Cleaning my house...... trying to

Doing my nails...... bought two new colors :o)

Organizing my embroidery floss...... Already done.....

Finally posting a blog post? Well, sort of :o)

Have I made ya crazy yet? O.0 

Well, what do you guess I am going to do next?

***Here's my Poll***

1. Getting a new hairdo

2. Losing weight

3. Organizing my crafts

4. Being More Positive with my outlook on things happening to me.

5. Going back to school for Graphics Design 

6. Buying myself a new purse and wallet in a happier color 

7.  Biting the bullet and starting to give myself my Humira Injections every other week for the rest of my life in a very relaxed peaceful setting with my favorite music playing. 

8. Beading a butterfly necklace for myself, Of course ^.^

9. Making a Shabby Chic Christmas Tree Skirt 

10. Eat my favorite comfort food Kraft Mac~n~cheese with hamburger and peas

I bet you one of a kind handmade notebook if you can guess which of these I am for certain going to do or may have done already ^.^

Leave your guesses in the comments below, please :o)

On to Happy Thoughts....

Hello Friends,

I am trying to help myself think more positive, but for me it is so hard to do on my own so I have joined Happify. Will ya'll join me over there and become my real time friends? I could really use it now. I could really use encouragement. Maybe some happy colored notebooks or altered journals with a written notes by you  in them on the first page?

If you want to participate in my Happifying journey and giving me some real time encouragement just email me at Karen Roth Contact me, please and I will email you my address so ya'll can write me. I understand that many of ya'll live very busy lives, but can you please spare one moment to write to me?

Now on to something that makes my happiness factor go way up, I just wish I could have these things in real life,lol

Shabby Chicness

Roses and Teacups
There is nothing sweeter than a bunch of adorable teddies. 

Just a shout out to +roses-and-teacups you do amazing work :o) Love everything!

Speaking of which, rush your little selves over to my Blenpal, Angie Tower who is the most awesome gourd artist! I so want here Windsor blue purse, just my color and design, I have a crush + on it.

Regional Renown Gourd Artist, Angie Tower

Until Next Time,
Karen

Computer Died.......Trying Earnestly to bounce back

Well, this was an unexpected problem.... Both my power supply and hard drive bit the computer dust and both have gone to computer heaven..... I do believe though that my dear sweet hubby Ben has ordered the parts I need as surprise early Christmas gifts. Bless his dear little heart! Oy Vay! Well I just wanted to quickly let everyone know this and the fact that I have finally received my diagnosis. I have a disease that most people cannot even pronounce "Ankylosing Spondylitis" and more people than not do not even know what it even is. So let me give you the quick version:

About Ankylosing Spondylitis

If you love me as you say you do, then please use this link to look up all the information and even read the patient stories as that is the real truth about this disease. Unfortunately, I do not have the money for the membership fee. Joining this Association would be a tremendous benefit to me as I do care for a developmentally disabled husband.

I have also learned that I have a bone tumor (Enchondroma) in my left hip. They think I have had it since I was a child but I am not thinking so because this is a very new pain that started shortly after my Thyroid problems started. They have said that if it is found in an adult that it can grow to become Bone Cancer. We are praying desperately that it does not become cancer.  So to be honest I am really frightened.

 I am going to get a too real for a moment: We are so poverty stricken that I am sleeping on a couple of worn out foam pads on the floor and my hubby is on an air mattress on top of our broken bed. This is so troubling to my dear hubby because he knows enough to know it is his job to provide for us and he cannot due to his disabilities.My body is in severe pain but that pain does not compare to the pain in my heart and my soul when considering my poor hubby's dilemma.

 While I am pleased that people do have warm comfortable furniture during this Christmas Season and warm, safe houses, I would like to encourage those who do have more than enough to please help those who are less fortunate than you. Because, Folks, Loving your neighbor as yourself really needs improving upon in our society today. We have folks right here in (Anytown, USA) that are doing without every day basic necessities because like myself they are too ill to work and the state will not help out enough. As I am saying this I am going without most of my medications as we just do not have the money to buy them and most of them are not available through Patient Assistance Programs.

Dear sweet Ruthi, We so love you so much because even though you have the least money in the family you have helped us the most. The others in our large family could learn a most needed lesson from you and we pray that they do. Thank you for showing us both that you truly do treasure our lives enough to be what we need you to be when we need you to be it.You have shown to us that life is more precious than things and vacations.That the human life is a very precious gift and should not be wasted. That it should be spent showing God's love to those who are with, for us, and around us. You have given out of your need and not out of your excess and God will truly bless you for it all. Thank You Dear Sis {{{hugz}}}

All this to say this, Family should be willing to aid the members of their families who are not doing well no matter how much it costs because that is what being a family means. You all stick together through the thick and thin of life.The Good, Bad and the Ugly. That is what being a family means. You love, treasure, support, comfort, and aid those you say you love. Because Folks that is what God's True Love is all about. If you are not doing this then God's Love does not reside within your heart. Because if you can help complete strangers but not your own flesh and blood (this includes through marriage), then God's Word states that all your giving amounts to nothing in His eyes. Because  true Charity begins at home in the family unit.

Today has been really hard

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Hello, My Friends *waves*

Well, so far every door I have tried to open to get me my proper treatment for my medical condition has been slammed shut so please pray for Jehovah Nisi to show up on the scene. I truly need a Miracle and breakthrough.

This is a reminder to myself so pardon me for a moment.....

"I have a dream and I will push through the darkest of nights to embrace the beautiful rays of the coming dawn." ~by Karen M. Roth 

My deepest desire is to just be an inspiration to some one else that reflects a 360 degree turn in their life and thought processes, but at the moment I am having to encourage myself.

It is truly hard to not feel sorry for myself when everything has trumped itself against me. But I know that Whatever weapon has set itself up against me shall not stand. That whatever has been meant for my harm God means for my good.

BUT:
 I know that it is when it is darkest that your miracle is right at hand . So I must keep pressing forward for my true  God-given Destiny is at hand. This is just the Test.

I am not what I have become and my circumstances do not make me who I am.

I am beautiful, smart,loving,compassionate, and creative......

I am just having a bad day, but I know this bad day will not last forever. I will have my victory.

I know that God has not brought me to this without the tools and skills I need to overcome this ....I am just facing my test....How well will I do ? I am forcing myself to look past my condition to see my future and the Blessings God has in store for me.

One Lesson to be learned in this and it is this.....Now I know exactly what people with Traumatic illnesses have to deal with so in the running of my non profit "Gentle Whispers of Love" I will know just how to tailor my reach and outreach.

Thank you, Lord for this Lesson and I pray that you will help me keep focused on the fun things and not on my excruciating physical pain which has debilitated me so much so that I am barely able to walk. Lord I am crawling to the beautiful feet of Jesus please water my desert. Let the springs pour forth and renew me with the Strength and grace of the Eagle I am flying in the shadow of your wings. Raise me to such heights that I can never reach on my own. In Jesus' Name, Amen

When Life Rains Down Persimmons.

Hey there Y'all! *waves and {{{hugz}}}*

So how to decide what to do when Life rains Down Persimmons....

Well, My Friends , You have one of 2 choices.....

Choice # 1 Milk it---> You can curl up in a ball ,weep, and isolate yourself from people period and let your health continue to get worse and worse because life has never been fair to you.

OR

Choice # 2 Juice it ----> You can buck up and put on your big kids undies, lose the Binky, the Blanky and lay all the garbage going on in your life at the precious feet of Jesus and His redeeming work on the Cross and pick up a much lighter burden of just resting in the Peace of God knowing that no matter what evil has befallen you  ( Every person has had one at one time or another in their life) that we have the (to quote my favorite song by @Chris Tomlin +) "King of Angel Armies by my side...I know who goes before and I know who goes behind....He is a Friend of mine" Just to quote my favorite parts of my all time Get-out-of-the-Funky-Pit song!  (Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies)  from the Burning Lights CD). Thank you so much +Chris Tomlin The Christian Music Artist, +1 Fan here in lil Ol Ellensburg WA!

 While you may have more of an burden than the person beside you, but know something to now quote @Joel and Victoria Osteen +lakewood church , "Hurting people hurt people." ( This was such an invaluable lesson for me to learn myself ,  I thank you, Joel,  for your wonderful Insight and for just being Real {{{hugz}}} to you and your lovely wife Victoria! AND Your wonderful Mama!) 

So,  Peeps, before you get mad and take offense at people for dumping on you when you already have more than your share of wounds and hurts please take a moment to remember:

1. Every person has a Story to tell about their own Journey through this thing we call "Life".

2. The person hurting you is hurting themselves and are in need of help as well.

3. That not every person on the Earth is going to like you no matter how you may sacrifice and change for this person.  

Start looking for the Lesson (s) to be learned in amongst your pain, suffering, and sorrow and believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that God truly means only good for you...that while He may not remove you from your situation He can bring the whole thing about for your good and in the process blessing you doubly. God will replenish all the years that the Locusts have eaten. You may have to wait quite a while for it but know this IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!

I do not know which choice you will choose to make,  but I can assure you that I choose to JUICE IT!!!!

I choose to LIVE Abundantly and FREE. Life is Glorious and Beautiful when you clean off the Windshield of all the bug guts!

So until next time,

Karen

P.S. If ya would like to say a prayer for me,  these are the things:

1. Health for both the hubby and myself. Multiple major things going on all at once.

2.a comfortable mini-van (CV joints are getting ready to break and the van is too old to repair but we seriously do not have the money to replace the things we need to replace.

3. A bed-  our Box Springs are broken. 

Joel and Victoria Osteen say that God Holds Our Victory ... (+playlist)

For most who truly know me, know that I have always tried to live my life according to God's Word, yes, I have made poor choices in my life that even to this day I am experiencing the ill effects of, but I will not live a defeated life. Because God has been so good to me even in the midst of the harshest things that life and Satan could throw my way. I am still alive and still treasuring God so much more than my own physical life.

Because I always remember that God's Mercy is new and fresh every morning. We are given a new beginning every morning we wake up. So I am choosing to receive the blessings God has in store for me by faith and that I know that even though it looks like everything is coming against me all at once and having such tribulations and trials God has a good plan for my life and I am believing that. I know I have God's favor and approval even if the people in my life turn against me.  I know that it is time to tell them I love them but they do not control me I belong to God and God alone. If anyone stands against me and does not support me then I know that they were only "with me" and not "for me",  I am waiting for my divine relationships in my future......I also know that when it is the darkest....that is the very moment I will get my Victory! So I will continue to press forward.

So far I have overcome being a Sex slave, Pornography, Alcoholism, Smoking, Fear of Abandonment, my "stinking thinking" as my Pastor Dave Saltzman calls it ;o) , Being in a Victim cycle that led me from one bad abusive relationship to another, Domestic Abuse,
I have overcome the very Messenger of Satan Himself with the Lord's help....So I know there are Victories to be had and it has pushed me beyond myself and to grow in ways I never even thought possible and ,Friends, it can happen for you as well, just turn to God for your daily or even moment to moment strength as he has promised to give us "Strength for the Day".  And we also find in Philippians 4:13 that "We can do ALL things through Christ Jesus who strengthens us".


So I want to encourage you to step out of Defeat and into the Good life with Faith (Remember that all it takes is a Mustard Seed size Faith and you do not have to come clean to come to Jesus just meet Him where you are at this very moment) and you will receive the Victories that you need in your life...Just Hold On to Jesus. He will never forsake you or leave you even when everyone else in your life has.  Just remember that God is bringing better people into your life to help strengthen you and to help you grow to maturity.

May You Be Richly and Abundantly Blessed......

Until Next Time,
Karen

Time to Face the Facts, Ma'am...Let's Get Real!

Flat Belly Diet Recipes - Prevention.com This is a week's worth of healthy dishes and a shopping list for MUFA"S. It's like a Mediterranean Diet.

I am getting serious about getting serious about losing weight in a healthy way to also reduce my high Triglycerides. 255 is just too high. But I also want to make sure that it does not trigger my food allergies and Migraines so it may be trial and error for a while but I am praying that my hubby will jump on this boat with me.

At least my hubby is lucky in one aspect, he can still exercise by going hiking whereas I am not able to do so as I can barely even walk.

So say a prayer and wish me luck!

See what I mean?

Hey, it was windy what can I say, lol :o)

Ok, Folks, It's time to Get Real.....

For only being 5 foot 3.25 inches tall I do weigh way, way too much. I weigh in at sopping wet 155 pounds. I should be at 120 pounds, but I think 110 would be better for my Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, Undifferentiated Spondyloarthrophy, Asthma, COPD.

The changes will start as soon as I get over this stupid Salmonella H. Bug....I do not in any way shape or form wish this on even my worst enemy. 

I am already walking twice a day.  Gonna start back on my strength exercises to try to get my Core Muscles back since I have lost them all due to being in so much physical pain. It will be an all uphill battle but I have something that is pushing me forward....My Vow Renewal.

 I love my husband Ben ever so much more than even he realizes. I see him in a way that noone ever has, I do not see him as he is but what his true potential is.  His family had pretty much left him to himself instead of dealing with the fact that he is Developmentally Challenged. They treated him like he was always "Normal" which was the worst thing they ever could have done. I do give props to his sister Ruthi as she has spent a lot of time trying to make up for the way they treated him when he was younger. Yes, he requires special care.  He does require a lot more patience, more compassionate love, more understanding that sometimes things just do not click correctly in his mind,  but let me iterate,  that this does in no way make him stupid, unintelligent, or a troublemaker throwing a temper tantrum in any way. He is super intelligent but he has Social Anxiety that blocks his path. If you put too much pressure on him he will have a complete Mental Meltdown...So I have learned that it is best to just say what I want to say to him and then just keep quiet and just let him process what I had just said. Sometimes it takes longer for him to understand than others. Then I let him come to me when he is ready.  I have learned that if you let him take things at his pace, life is much more enjoyable for both of us. 

But I am not without my own faults, I suffer from Abandonment issues from my own childhood, PTSD, Anxiety, Panic Attacks and to boot a major bad Anger Management issue. Plus, living with the poor choices I made in regards to both of my beautiful Children Brianna and Cody for which I am truly regretful, but I cannot change my past I can only acknowledge it and learn the lessons to be learned , ask for Forgiveness and to accept the wonderful mercy of God and move in a Forward Fashion. But I do truly pray for them daily and ask for Restoration of our relationships when they are both ready. I love you both more then you will ever realize. Will you please take the Higher Road and Forgive me?

 But first,  I just want to say that I am so very Proud of you Brianna, You are Strong, Smart, Creative, Precious and Beautiful. Cody, I am so very proud of you, as You are Sincere, Handsome, Brave, Precious. I still retain all my Precious Memories of our good times. I ask that you forgive me for all the hurt I out you through when I thought that sincerely I was preserving your lives. But the one person I had trusted had let us all down because they refused to get the help that they needed. I will not mention this person's name as I am still praying for them to accept the Medical and Mental help that they need. But in everything, I have chosen to forgive and release all the burden's that came from Guilt, Shame,Hurt,Wanting Vengeance for being used, abused, and tossed into the garbage heap. For being unwanted ....

  But I just want to say that God has been very gracious to all of  those involved in our lives and know that we are "Growing Slowly Wise". Thanks to dear Mr. David Roper I have been realizing alot of my own errors in the way I was handling things.  I now realize that everything I say, think or do boils down to this, Which Choice Will I make? I can choose to take the low road and be miserable for the rest of my life or I can choose the higher road that in the end benefits everyone in my life. So from now on I choose the latter. { NOTE***** I will willingly freely Sponsor this author and publishing company Discovery House.*****} All I can say is if you slowly read and chew on just the facts not your imaginations you will definitely learn alot and have a strong season of Growth.

I pray that you and yours have a marvelous week  and I choose to Bless and not Curse. This is not something done lightly. It has taken much thought, tears, and woundedness and acceptance of self as I am to come to this point. 

But like the Butterfly, I am in my Season of Growth and,  yes,  it may hurt for a time, but it is only temporary as you look at Eternity with The One who has Redeemed me from the pit of Eternal Death. Thank You Jesus for Loving even me.....

Until Next Time,

Karen  

Welcome Friends, Get to Know the Real Me

Hello, My Sweet Wonderful Guests! Without you this blog could not be possible and I sincerely thank each and everyone of you who take time out of your busy schedules to visit my little niche of cyberspace. It is my hope to make new friends and share many wonderful creations together. I am truly sorry if I tend to complain too much , that is not my intentions, but you know that sometimes you just have to get what is in your heart out in the open to get a better perspective on your current circumstances. Here's my life story for those who are bored enough to actually read it as it is a highly suggested reading if you truly want to get to know the "real" me. First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Karen Michelle Roth and I’m Bipolar and suffer from PTSD. I am happily married and I own two types of pets, 5 Guppies in a small tank and a sassy medium-sized dog named Pepper. My Background: I was born at Fort Riley at the Irwin Army Hospital. My father was in the military then. We lived in Abilene, Kansas till I was old enough to go to school. My father then moved us to Hutchinson, Kansas in 1977. I do not remember much about my childhood. Over the next few years I was molested, beaten, abused, raped, and stabbed.   I was in an abusive marriage before I met my current wonderfully sweet husband, Ben.   I have two children that I do not have custody of. My son lives with his father. My daughter lived with my parents until she ran away this year with her boyfriend and his family. I truly want to thank you both for caring so much for my son and daughter.   truly pray that she is safe and doing well.  Neither of my children wants anything to do with me currently but I pray that will change for the better. In fact, my parents disowned me when I moved to better my life and to be married.  I have tried numerous times to obtain my degree, but do to illnesses and the lack of funds I was forced to quit my pursuit of a higher education.  My Present Illnesses:   I am currently battling  Fibromyalgia, Being HLA-B27 Positive, Asthma, Mild COPD, Panic Attacks, PTSD, Anxiety Attacks, Major Depression, Undifferentiated Spondyloarthropy, Concentric Bulging Disc in my L4-L5 region (that is spreading my Fascia nerves farther apart than they should be), Migraines, Seasonal Allergies, Pet Allergy (I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY PEPPER PAWS!!!!), Food Allergies, Both elbows and hands have Tendonitis and Carpal Tunnel. I just discovered that i now have Thyroid Issues (Enlarged with multiple Nodules on both lobes and one nodule that is made up of different materials on my Isthmus (which is the piece of flesh that holds both thyroid lobes together. I have in the past created a number of blank and lined stationery as well as seed bead earrings I have made. I also crochet ripple afghans for relaxation. Crocheting is my stress reliever. I have just recently discovered the wonderful world of making cards and scrapbooking. It has been therapy for me as it takes my mind to a happier place where I can focus on seeing that I can make others happy with my creations. My Dream: It is my dream to eventually open a Non Profit Charity named "Gentle Whispers of Love".  I have always been involved with the arts for as long as I can remember. I fully believe that everyone has a creative streak and that some of you just need some coaxing to bring it out. It is also my dream to be the first one in my immediate family to have made it to and through college. I only have 10 credits left. I have come way too far to quit and give up the ship now.  I am a firm believer that anyone can rise above their circumstances and become a better person for it. But I also believe that we should always remember our humble beginnings even if they are painful as they are part of who we are rather we like it or not. Not so much as to dwell upon the hurt and pain but to rejoice in just how far we have come and have grown. Now that you have come to know me a little bit I hope you will stick around as I have a ton of love to share :o) {{{{hugz}}}} Much Love, Karen                                              Link to code and pictures