# 1 Enemy in all the World.....

Hello Dear Friends and Followers,

I had not intended for this message today but it needs to be let known so perhaps you will understand why I have been missing in action on here for so very long....

I wish this were not true but it is and I can feel it in my body .... But I serve a Mighty God who is more powerful than what I am about to share with you all...AMEN!

I would like to ask for prayer today. I just found out accidentally through a snippet of an email of my last Sacroiliac MRI report that was sent to the on call doctor news that I should have received on 1/2014 but did not. I have had one of 2 forms of Cancers since then and only just now found out. Giant Cell Tumor or Chondroblastoma. I am in a lot of pain today. 
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I may also have a Mycobacterium Avium Strain that I got from ingesting water from our water pipes. I had the water tested yesterday by the city water guy but he did not test the biofilm in the pipes like he should have. He said it would take a week to get the results back. But I live in a Rural community so they may not have the ability to do this. So who do I call next? The EPA?
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Plus, My SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is kicking into very high gear today. I have been closed out of my Therapy due to not having been able to attend my sessions since Jan. 2015 due to battling all this plus family issues, too.
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But God is Good all the time!!! But I will admit I am afraid as I sit here and watch all my dreams go down the toilet. Our Vow Renewal I have been working on for the last 4 years, the dream of taking my Crafting Blog to the Professional level, to finally own a home with a lovely cottage style garden and my own Craftroom, being able to go hiking again, the Restoration of my children and the rest of my family to me under Godly circumstances and my deepest desire to have another baby to raise since I was forced to give up my children thanks to my mother. I can almost feel for the person who stated it is all meaningless..... But I know better even if I cannot see it right now. God has a Plan for me, not to harm me but to prosper me... That was the locusts ate He himself will restore after a time....that my suffering is temporal.....
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My husband took off hiking today with the dog leaving me at home alone and he will not be back until after dark.
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So please keep me in your prayers please......Karen

Mr. President of the USA I Want to Know This.....

Hello Mr. President,

I realize that your time is very precious especially around Election Time so I want to Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.

I want to know why is it that I am sitting here facing the possibility of 3 different Cancers and yet when my Doctor's Assistant or Nurse (Not sure of her actual job title) calls United Healthcare to get Approval of my Left Hip MRI that I have been waiting for Approval of since December 6, 2014 they just keep putting her through the phone queue tree but noone actually answering her? I was diagnosed with an Enchondroma in 2014. I was to have had a follow-up on December 6, 2014 but was unable to at that time due to no ride available. I called to reschedule.

I am calling today to schedule a Biopsy on my Uterus and a Ductogram.

I have not even been able to get my SSI even though I have-- PsA, Spondylosis, Spondylitis, Fibromyalgia, Hemiplegic Migraines, Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia with Left Ventricular Diastolic Dysfunction Grade Level 1, Major Depression, Bipolar 2, Panic Attack Disorder, Anxiety Attack Disorder and PTSD. Yet, I am told by the ALJ that I am not Disabled Enough by the Federal Standards. Most likely due to the reason stated in the next paragraph. Many of my diseases are the result of Agent Orange that was dumped on my father before I was even thought of and the Traumas I suffered as a young child and a young woman.

My current Doctor keeps telling me that most of my illnesses stem from Somatic Symptom Disorder.  This is not true. My physical pain and illnesses are and have been very real. Not one doctor is believing me due to what the others have put into my medical records. I found the source of my pain and noone wants to believe me because the Studies have not yet been released from Stamford Medical University on Naltrexone 4.3mg and Fibromyalgia. It was for this reason, I quit taking Percocet (5-325mg) 2 tablets 4 times a day. I am only taking Acetaminophen now, not by refusal as what is listed in my medical records but because of this interaction between the Percocet and the protein in Fibromyalgia patient's body. It was at this time the PSA was discovered after an injury to my neck. I still have not yet been able to begin Methotrexate 2.5 mg due to have had a Sinus infection since September 10, 2015 that my doctor keeps saying is just Allergies. I have a History of Chronic Sinusitis but she refuses to believe this as she only has the Electronic Records which in fact are only half of my medical history. Yes, I also have a history of Allergies but they only affect my eyes and nose not my Sinus Cavities.

Is it simply because I am too poor to be considered human after all? That I am too Disabled by my physical pain and the deformity of my bones to work? I do not even have the money to make sure that my Developmentally Disabled husband is cared for after I am gone and we are in Debt. Mostly because, if I am to be honest, was to try and fill the hole left by my biological family when they chose to throw me to the garbage heap. When in reality I was trying to get the care and love I deserved. (But anyway that is another story). I chose to break the cycle of abuse.

That money is worth more than my life?

 That my father's 3 Tours of Viet Nam meant nothing to the people or Government he fought for Freedom of even to the point of getting Agent Orange dumped on him and his whole Platoon? Who is now laying at home dying himself.

Once again , I want to Thank You for your time.

Please make sure this does not happen to anyone else, please.

Sincerely,

Karen M.  Roth
 Daughter of Herman E. Jones III Spc.E-3 Army

Songs For Dogs and the people Who Love them

@olivefrenchie waiting patiently for mom to cue up the playlist. We make music for dogs. Link in profile #frenchie #bulldog #frenchbulldog #french #beats #pretty #instagood #cute #puppy #bestfriend #dog #dogs #dogsofinstagram #dogstagram #happy #love #iloveyou #ilovemydog #music #adorable #instadog #instapic #repost

A photo posted by Songs For Dogs (@songsfordogs) on Jan 14, 2016 at 4:17pm PST

I am Scared .....Need Urgent Prayers

Side view of spine

I am sorry for my blogging absence as of the last few months even though I try top keep up with Pinterest which thankfully also gets FB and Twitter at the same time.

I am a Survivor of many abuses and to this day I am struggling with Complex PTSD and now I am having issues getting my psych medicines I need due to a miscommunication of my primary doctor to my medication manager at mental health. These abuses have taken a serious toll on my body, emotions and mind and yes, my spirit as well. I have had a really hard time letting go of my Past and it has been destroying me and now just when I make to decision to finally let it go .......Bads things happen all at once......
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 I am battling with a Sinus Infection I have had since September 2015 and no one wants to give me the long term antibiotic I need. My insurance denied the Sinus Cat Scan that was ordered by another doctor I saw December 29, 2015 while my primary was gone on vacation due to me not having been on long term antibiotics. Now I have an bacterial infection in my left breast and also in my intestines.
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I have a Bone Tumor (Enchondroma) in my left leg that is still waiting (after already waiting for a year and a half) on the follow-up MRI to see if it is growing. If it is growing, it means Bone cancer. I do have a painful bump and a extremely tender tendon or ligament. I am praying that it is the Psoriatic Arthritis, if it has to be anything.
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  I also have a severe case of Lordosis (Sway Back) in my lower spine and untreated Psoriatic Arthritis, with two other kinds of Arthritis( Spondylosis, Spondylitis) in my Spine along with Degenerative Disc Disease which is extremely painful especially with weather changes. I cannot take narcotic pain meds due to my Fibromyalgia nor use pain patches due to an adhesive allergy. This presents a huge problem when it comes to relieving my pain.
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 I am going to be tested for also Breast Cancer and Uterine Cancer.
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 I will be honest I am very scared. I am not ready to die yet. I still have Dreams but I am mostly worried about my husband and our Pepper. I have already been in such high intense pain in the past two years that just thought of more pain is too much.
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But I am also trying to trust that God does not allow pain without a purpose.That God still has a good plan for me.
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So I would like to ask for everyone who passes through here and sees my post to pray for me please.

Until I know more,
Karen

P.S. ***UPDATE*** Received Psych medicines,  but still no antibiotic as my primary doctor REALLY wanted the Sinus Cat Scan so it would prove that I do not need the antibiotic which is pure bs!!! I have needed it since the very beginning.  But she did authorize more Mucinex for me. So keep praying ya'll!

Astaxanthin Report From Health Boundaries

***The following may earn me a 10% savings on my personal orders at Puritan's Pride but the opinions are mine and mine alone. I only support Products that I approve of myself.***



I just learned about this and I really want to give it a try.



This is another person's experience with it as well as the Research they found on it:



Astaxanthin | Health Boundaries



It is all natural and at Puritan's Pride. Right now they have a ridiculous Sale going on and with orders over $19.99 You Get Free Shipping!



Sign up under my Referral link: https://puritan.sparkrefer.com/CW5TcFN



and We both earn 10% off our orders. Run, Don't Pass Go!



Until Later,

Karen

Too Cute

These videos are just Too Cute and I just had to share them with ya'll!

Yes, I love Dogs, Rats, and Cats! They can be so darn cute in their frocklin' are they not?!!!!



Just a quicky post to let ya'll know that I am still alive and kickin' despite everything my body is going through at the moment.



I got good news today and so did my hubby healthwise, but I do need your prayers I am to start Methotrexate and Folic Acid for my Psoriatic Arthritis. But God is my Healer AMEN?!! Even if he has to use medicine to do it.



I am behind on my Fall Posts but I will get to them before November is over I promise ;o). But I am more anticipating decorating for Christmas.



Until Next Time,

Karen

La Marseillaise, French National Anthem (Fr/En)

La Marseillaise (FR/ENG) Long Version

My heart goes out to those in France. May God wrap His arms around each of those families who loss their loved ones and give you strength and comfort. ~ Love, Karen M. Roth Masquerading Crafter.

When you need a place to rest

Sister, You have no idea just how badly I needed to be reminded of this.

Thank you so much!



.When you need a place to rest by Grace Uncommon

Needing Prayers For Healing....

Hi there Everyone,

 So sorry I have not been online much in the last week or so but I have been REALLY sick with a combination of Virus/Allergies/ and a Severe Sinus Infection for which I still have not been treated for as I am technically in between doctors as the new doctor has not yet received my Medical Records even though I filed the Release over a week ago with my current Temporary Doctor's Office since my Family Doctor has sadly retired.

On top of THAT, I have Tendonitis in my right elbow so bad it was swollen way up! Every time I tried to use my left arm I ended up with Tendonitis in my wrist and hand and it went up my forearm.

ON Top of That, I have just been diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis, which includes Spondylitis (Which essentially means that I have arthritis and inflammation in my spinal bones. ) and Facial or Scalp Psoriasis which at this point it is mild, but the arthritis hurts like I cannot even begin to describe.

If you want to learn more about Psoriasis and Psoriatic Arthritis then check out the  National Psoriasis Foundation Website for lots of helpful information.

At this point, until I can get rid of the infection I cannot have my colonoscopy done which I need badly to determine what I have been so ill with since September 18,2014 and still having issues with. My Rheumatologist is putting me on Methotrexate and Folic Acid, but until I find out if I need antibiotics I cannot take the Methotrexate.

To be honest I am scared as heck to even start the Methotrexate, especially since one of the side effects is possibly losing your hair and I have been growing my hair out long especially for our Vow Renewal that we have been planning and working on for four years now. I know that it is just hair and that my life is more important, it is just that Our Vow Renewal has been so long in the planning  stage and I keep getting sicker and sicker. I am so scared that it will not happen.....

So I am asking for your prayers as I know that Prayer can accomplish great Miracles and I need one now......

JESUS CHRIST Is God Almighty!! Worship Him!! He Is Worthy!!

This made me weep in a Great heartrending way to realize that this is my Friend .......His Name Is.....




I love this music so much it so touches my Soul the deepest part of my inner being....I pray it touches yours as well......Meet my Friend .....His Name Is ......

New Horizon's Ahead: Learning to Adjust My Sails

Someone Welcome Me back home Please.

 I realize it has been many months since I have been able to post anything, but I do have very legitimate Reasons ( Not Excuses).

I have been struggling with many Extremely painful health conditions all at once ( Still lining up Doctor appointments and Tests) and  withdrawing from my Pain medicine (More on that Later.). Playing in the garden again and making new friends and losing some to cancers of various forms. 

I have just started treatment for my Complex PTSD and Depression. Well, in the planning stages anyway we are just discussing the program right now and my history of various Trauma's I have lived through and have never been treated for before. 

I have finally decided that I really want the things I have always dreamed about that has always stood on the other side of the FEAR I have dealt with since I was only 6 years old. So when you think about it I have wasted 37 years of my life due to my Complex PTSD.

I realize that it may affect me for the rest of my life and my relationships but I am only asking for Love, Compassion and Grace to be me, please, and that I will have to take medicine  for the rest of my life for it as well I am ready. 

This is a battle I have faced in Silence all these years due to the fact that simply I was born into a family that could not be trusted and that abused me in various traumatizing ways.

So you cold say that I am finally learning to "Adjust My Sails". I may not be able to settle the storms by myself but I can definitely go to the ONE who can and that is God. This will be a bumpy ride with my hubby's and His Family learning about my Complex PTSD , I mean actually learning about it and not just glossing over the facts and pretending that I am just Overreacting. They will have to learn a whole NEW way to communicate with me  so please pray that they will extend the Love , Compassion and Grace I am asking for.

Now, onto the More on That Later --Pain Medicine--

I was tripping across Youtube on day after getting off of my Opioid Medicine and found what might just save many lives and reduce alot of suicides in my Humble opinion. It was a seemingly long (hour and half) boring video from Stanford Medical University title "What is Fibromyalgia". It was a public education period in which they were educating Fibromyalgia Patients and Anyone who knew one.

But stay with me here Folks, it is so totally worth watching it until the VERY END Even past the Q&A! This is where you will learn about Low Dose Naltrexone 4.5mg. 

Please watch it and get anyone you can to Donate to this Research Study as they are having trouble obtaining enough funds to do a Large Study (They have already had two very successful Studies. )and it is difficult due to this medicine being an old medicine that has been on the market for awhile and it is very hard to get it produced in the low level that is needed as it is so old that Pharmaceutical Companies are not backing this Research Study. 

So without further ado I present the video:

Stanford Medical University Video "What is Fibromyalgia"?

Now onto Blogging News, I am still planning my New Masquerading Crafter Rebrand Celebration and New Blog. So keep that in Prayer as well, Please. This is a work in progress, but due to my health and pain at the moment it will take maybe a few months to get it started so I ask for Patience and Friendships and Encouragement.

Until Next Time,

Karen 

NEEDING PRAYER FOR MY Blogging Friend, Marty

A blogging friend of mine is going through a tough time.  Can  we all unite in prayer for her and her family. 

Please visit her here : http://martysmusings.net/2015/03/when-a-heart-breaks.html

Dear Marty ,  I pray for comfort,  peace,  and increased closeness for you and your family.

Mark Hall,This is for you....

I just found out today that my Favorite Singer of +Casting Crowns needs our prayer.....

Come Join me in Prayer

#prayingforMark Dear Father God, I am bringing Mark before you, you know his Miracle he desperately needs right now. Make it so! Amen
— Karen Roth (@ffpaws) March 9, 2015

Mark, I want to let you know that your music carried me through some of the darkest times in my life and still does today. My heart is bleeding for you and your family and I will be praying nightly until I hear that you have been healed. {{{Hugz)))

Much Love in Christ,
Karen M. Roth

Still Healing and Coming to Terms with Things in My Life

Hello Masquerading Crafter Friends,

I will be the first one to admit that I am battling with Depression very heavily and this past year since my physical pain has been at the highest it has ever been before it has got me thinking thoughts I would rather not have.

So in that avenue of thought, I am reaching out to my Online Friends (since the ones I thought were my friends have abandoned me) for the Love, Encouragement, and the Support I truly need.

Is anyone really there for me and actually with me? I have reached out to many people only to be told they are too busy, I'm nuts and that I am too needy. That I "need to find Retired neighbors or Homebound people who maybe like me are crippled, too. Perhaps they would have time for me. That "working" people are just too busy and do not have the amount of time I seem to require".

Yes, it was said in a moment of stress, but it has implications and scars on my soul for the rest of my life. These remarks came from someone who I thought of as "Best Friends" so it really stung when I really  heard what they thought of me.  I wept so hard that I have blown my Pituitary Gland out.

I know that I am not that way, I just happened to be in Chronic pain and it takes more high quality items just to  ease my physical pain. Just for a few minutes of comfort that is all I am asking for. It is not my fault I was created this way. I try to go cheaper when I can, but in some areas I just cannot and my feet are one of those areas. My feet were messed up as a young child when I had to walk for fourteen miles a day in ill-fitting shoes because that was all my parents could afford. I was walking picking up dirty, foul-smelling beer cans to get enough money to feed my baby brother at the time. You tell me, Did that prove that I loved my brother? My Parents? So in your prayers tonight please ask God to give me a comfortable pair of shoes that will last more than three months. I walk so heavy I wear them out that quick.

I really want my Dream of taking this blog to the next level to come to pass, but in all honesty, with my pain getting worse I am not seeing that happening any time soon, if ever and I am just praying that it is not too late to follow this Dream.  I really want to create a happy positive fun place to be but it is so hard for me to actually be happy when I feel so Abandoned and Alone.

I have another Dream as well, one that has been haunting me for the past 24 years soon to be 25. July 27th and August 26th to be exact. I want my Daughter and Son back in my life. I never truly left them. My heart and thoughts were always and still are on and of them. I did the best thing I could do concerning the situation I was in at the time. I got the medical help and mental health help I needed, but it has come at a very high cost. It caused a great divide between me and my beloved children. I do not know how to overcome the lies my own mother fed them. I keep praying for their safety and for them to know Jesus. I am trying to hope that God will one day answer my prayer. This missing out on my Children's lives is killing me. I just pray that they can forgive me and learn to know the "real" me. The "me" that would give her life to protect her Children, but was not given the chance, I tried and the Social Services hung up on me mid-sentence. I have never gotten over that, it still haunts I had tried so hard to get my Daughter back but Satan blocked me.

Now you know my Dirty Secrets. I am a Childless Mother and a Motherless Child.

Do you still care to get to know me? If so, you will never find a more loyal Friend.

Love Always,
Karen

Living My Dream This Year!!! Question for my Readers.

Hello,  My Friends (waves a Paw)

This is the year I have decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and to run after my Dreams.

This Year : The word for the year is Bloom

I will OVERCOME:         1. Rejection by others in my life. 
                                 I will Focus on the True Friends that I do have and realize that I am already ACCEPTED as a Daughter of the KING!!!! God Loves Me as I am. I want to change because of His awesome Love for me. No other man has ever died for me before. That is true love when you choose to carry someone else's Cross, Burden, Bad Deeds. So ..."Even if my Healing never comes, God You Are Good!!"... My New favorite song by Kutless

                            2. FEAR of Being Abandoned
                             I have started an Art Journal                                                     to Process my Wounds and Scars and my Tears. And will be getting back into Services for myself to control my symptoms.
                           
                            3. FEAR of not being Good Enough
                            I have joined an Online Bible Study Over at                                         http://www.womenlivingwell.org. I am in the Chronic Illness Group. They are looking for some more Group Leaders. So come on over and join us!

4. Throwing in some Weight Loss & Exercises.

                                       I have joined up over at                                                                       http://www.Sparkpeople.com for encouragement in eating healthier and beginning Exercises for the those with Limited Mobility. We can still Exercise ya'll! Plus, cutting down on my pop!

                    5. I am to become more Organized & Productive.
                          I have officially ordered the This is my Life                                      Planners over at http://avirtuouswoman.org/. I LOVE IT!!!

                     6.  I AM Seeing myself as Beautiful inspite of my                                 Pain. I am trading my Ashes for the Beauty of the                             Lord. I am choosing to just ....Bloom without competing with the flower next to me. (This is a partial Quote I found on Pinterest today). I am Accepting Me as I am. I am more than the sum of my broken pieces and I will share my full story on my new About page as I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ and my Life is my Testimony of what God can do if You just let Him work in your life. 

                  7. Starting on Living My Dream of writing a book teaching those who are dealing with Abandonment Issues how to live without Fear of Rejection which is the beginning of Abandonment and how to Live Life with Abandon! I am so pumped about this ya'll. So please keep this in your prayers, please, I want it to become a reality. I will need to raise the money somehow, but I am trusting for God to provide the $2,999 I need to get my book where I want it to be. I took a huge leap of Faith already, I have been in contact with the Publisher I want to use. I will be calling the lady tomorrow. Kind of really nervous so pray that it goes well! {{{hugz}}}}

Ok, Ya'll got a Question for you what do you think of this hairstyle for my Vow Renewal?

This is my Favorite Thing Today!